Ode to Court today, 5/23/2017

As I sit here, next to you 

I think of all these moments of time.
The moments of my life, so long ago.

My life was adventurous.
My life had promise.
My life had excitement of new loves, new experiences.

Not everyone gets to live the high life of fun times in West Hollywood’s clubs
the glamorous who’s-who parties in the Hollywood Hills
the adoration and reassurance of self esteem of someone like 2pac noticing you.

The moments you and I shared.
The relationship and things we shared.
All I can think,
while I sit next to you here in court – how did we get here?

Why did you choose not to be part of your son’s life
with not even a care in the world to make sure he was properly taken care of.
Is all you have to say to me
when you sit down next to me is –

To Dare

To Dare

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd,
is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but the cannot learn, feel change, grow, love and live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves;
They have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

– Author Unknown

Spiritual Beauty

She was a girl of abuse
She was a girl of silenceSpiritual Beauty

Those tears were hidden behind
those sad eyes

But, one day she found beauty

Beauty in the sky
Beauty in the trees
Beauty in the birds
Beauty in the lady bugs
Beauty in all things

Even beauty in hurt and pain
because through that she learned
to love life and all things deeper than ever before.




What remains after…


What remains after the butterfly has gone.
What remains is sorrow—that I won’t have one last kiss.
What remains is loneliness—that I won’t have one last embrace.
What remains is bitterness—that you had to leave me so soon.
What remains is guilt—that I wasn’t there for you in the end.
What remains is disbelief—that you’re not lying here next to me.
What remains is knowing—that I’ll never meet anyone like you.


#loss #grief

Tonight – 7/23/15

It’s been 1347 days since you’ve been gone and I cried tonight.
I miss you just as much as before.
It’s because of you that I’ve carried on.
It’s because of you that I finished a dream of mine.
You inspired me.
You motivated me.
You taught me so much.
I wish you were here.


Mommy Why


Mommy Why
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
Here I come full circle,
Twenty-eight years of loneliness.
Mommy Why,
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
Don’t they see the pretty,
          young girl so pure and sweet?
If they treated me well for
          one minute of the day,
I’d be so loyal, so willing to stay.
Mommy Why,
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
What have you and daddy done to me,
          that people will stray?
Mommy Why,
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
Do I not have anything good to share?
Or is it just my face, body and hair?
Mommy Why,
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
I have been asking you
          since 7 or 8
Will you ever teach me what
          I need to know?
Why doesn’t anyone like me?


Being together, once again

I know you’re out of reach,
“til I’m back at the beach.
 Just like when we first met,
Knowing it was a sure bet.
I remember being married,
And now I am buried,
In the sand,
Hand in hand.
With all our hopes and dreams
Going down the streams
One leaving and one staying,
But soon after all
You and I will be lying
Together in the fall.


One Day I’ll Find You


One day I’ll find you,

Moonlight behind you.

And we will walk that path once again.

Going through all those things

We have gone before,

Not knowing at all what it is for.

All I know is that we will walk that path 

once again,

like before.

In search of Billy

In search of Billy

How is it that out of the blue I walk into Starbucks and see you

Every inch of you says,

hey, here I am

Every inch of me says,

hey, do you see me

How is it that out of the blue our paths join

How is it that out of the blue I get your name, your style, how you like to start your morning,

but I get no, “hello”

Every inch of you says,

hey, here I am

Every inch of me says,

hey, do you see me

In search of Billy