The Aftermath

Grief, Sex, and Love After Matt passed, almost nine years ago, I thankfully was unemployed. I would have never been able to work after he died. It was hard enough to get my son to school; it was a 20+ minute drive from where we lived. I wasn’t able to sleep. I’d sit up in […]

Read More

The pain can stop, if you just hold on.

Years ago, what seems like lifetimes ago, I tried killing myself a few times. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted the life I had to end. But, what I really wanted was a new life, a different life than the one I had. It’s all about change and the choices one must make […]

Read More

Ode to Court today, 5/23/2017

As I sit here, next to you  I think of all these moments of time. The moments of my life, so long ago. My life was adventurous. My life had promise. My life had excitement of new loves, new experiences. Not everyone gets to live the high life of fun times in West Hollywood’s clubs […]

Read More

R.I.P. Dad

Rest in peace, Dad (12/9/1933 -12/22/2016) So thankful for who you were and who you evolved to be. “I love you so much, too.” My dad was a man who had four girls, me being the youngest. He was a strong, funny, and sometimes quiet man. He was a man who loved football (soccer) and was […]

Read More

Trip back to the hospital to see my dad. 

On the train, back to see my dad. He’s still very critical. He was admitted a day before his birthday, December 8th. I went down from Los Angeles to San Diego that Sunday, a few days after and stayed until late Saturday, living in the waiting room or with my mom in his room. Never […]

Read More

November 14th – 5 years later

It is amazing that it has been 5 years since you went away. I feel like it was yesterday that it was the last time I saw you. We were sitting in my car and you were telling me how hard every morning was because of the disappointment you felt that you let everyone down […]

Read More

Lttr to the suffering, hold on.

Dear ones that are suffering, Please hold on. Don’t give up. Life will get better. It took me a long time to get to other side of feeling hopeless, like life was always going to be hopeless. I am so beyond happy that I survived to the point I never want to leave this world. PLEASE, seek […]

Read More