Never as I seem

We should never judge a book by its cover. I was “alternative” before that was even a thing and I was living in a town that was very conservative; all I got were stares. I feel that back then I had more style than I do now and I was trying new things, definitely with my hair and clothes. I wasn’t doing drugs (yet), but I could only imagine that that was what everybody thought.
And here I was at 16, innocent as could be, but as closed off to the cold, cold judgemental world. With a slightly grown out shaved head, no one ever could have imagine that I was anything but happy because of the smile on my face. I was also good at disguises, I was battling depression then, so I’m sure it wasn’t pure “happiness”. Or maybe, I just very seldomly wore my emotions on my sleeve lIke I  seemed to be doing that day. 
In this picture  I was more relieved than happy because that day meant to me, a celebration of freedom. Freedom from the put downs, freedom from inferiority, freedom from the physical attacks, freedom to now be good enough, and mostly freedom to no longer be just “her sister”.

I love my sis, but I was always in her shadow. Now was the first time I saw that I could break free to be me!
Read more in Evolving to Grace.
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I could be labeled

Labels shouldn’t exist, but they do. They are things we have done, NOT who we are or who we will become.
I could be labeled many things: illegal, ACOA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic), domestic violence survivor, excessive alcohol and drug user, rape victim, assault victim, hitchhiker, high school dropout, call girl, and single mother on welfare. But, these are just situations I ended up in when I was lost and broken. I’ve learned from my past and I am evolving to find my grace in this beautiful thing we call life. I write to inspire others to never give up. You can change your destiny, your path.
I could be labeled_225

#nojudgement #labelsshouldnotexist #understanding

Sometimes Misunderstood

a rose

I cannot be put in a box.

I am a sum of all my experiences, good and bad. I am a sum of all my experiences I have analyzed or thought of. I am a sum of all my experiences I have yet to experience.

I have had money. I have been broke.

I have lived in a large house in a nice community. I have lived in a tiny apartment in a run-down community.

I have had a roof over my head. I have been practically homeless.

I have been loved. I have been abused.

I have been happy. I have been depressed.

I have two college degrees. I have been a high school dropout.

I have been stable. I have been unstable.

I have known and seen what life has to offer. I have known and seen what life should not offer.

I have been weak. I have been strong.

I have known sobriety. I have known addiction.

I have been silent. I have been vocal.

I have been clean cut. I have been edgy.

I have had long hair. I have had a shaved head.

I have liked classical. I have liked rap.

I cannot be measured for who you see or by one thing I say. I can only be measured by all of my experiences.

I cannot be put in a box.