Letter to my Rapist

It wasn’t until recently that I came to realize how my rape truly affected me. At the age of 16, I lost my virginity to being raped. I never before realized how for decades, this act plagued me, and my encounters and involvements with men. I minimized the violation, to being passed out for most […]

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Reshuffle, reshuffle, and reshuffle some more.

I know what I want and I know what I deserve. It takes a long time to get here and as a Child of an Alcoholic, many of us say we will not be like them. But, I was one that held onto that for a long time. I probably went overboard, doing the extreme […]

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Are you involved with or dating a narcissist?

Subtle things to watch out for if you suspect something wrong in your partner: Narcissists might like you but only because it relates to something they either do or that will benefit them. I dated a narcissist and after a couple weeks, I kept on asking him what he liked about me. Not that I […]

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3 1/2 Weeks

As I sit here on the cliff’s edge, overlooking the ocean, I wonder what happened. Was three weeks apart just too long for you to still adore me? Or, did you have time to think? Getting to know someone isn’t easy, especially when you haven’t had enough time. It’s not always rainbows and sprinkles. As […]

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Memories through a Photograph – Innocence Lost

Every once in a while I come across this picture. I have a few pictures from this night in 1986. I always had a camera handy to capture anything and everything. I’ve probably captured too many memories that most would like to forget. But, the more times that I have come across this image, I […]

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Loving My Long Hair

I love my long hair. I used to really love having short hair, also. When I was a child I remember my mom having my dad take me and one of my sisters to the barbershop to get our hair cut. We had long hair and my mom had a hard time brushing through it […]

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Happy 51st!

Did I get dumped on my birthday? Some might say that is questionable. Do I feel like I got dumped on my birthday? YES! It was going to be a beautiful day today and I guess it still will be. But, I cried today. I cried today, like a lot, because of love. Children of […]

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Overcoming Intimacy Issues after a Loss

Matt passed away in November of 2011. After his passing, within 2 years, I gained 30lbs. I was distraught and this was the time that I probably began with a new bought of depression. I hadn’t seriously been depressed in close to 15 years. The last time I had had suicidal thoughts was when Tupac […]

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Growth thru a Pandemic – Seeing the Beauty on the Outside

Looking beautiful on the outside is what makes some have status in this world. Some people perceive that everything is great and perfect, as long as you are beautiful. Doors open up for the beautiful people. They seem to get further in life than some of their counterparts. But, how true is it that beautiful […]

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Overcoming the Fear of Speaking Up

I’ve lived in fear of speaking up most of my life. I’ve only challenged it sometimes. Covid and quarantining makes you really have time to think. It gives you the time to work on things about yourself that you may want to change or the things about your life that you may want to overcome. […]

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